A Letter of Self Worth
Like most people who have grown up with social media, I have struggled with my self-image and my body image. I've tried diets and exercise routines to get my body looking like that Instagram model body we see all over the internet. You don’t have to tell me it’s just angles and good lighting I knew that, but still wanted the unreal ideal I had in my head. It’s not wrong to want to change the way you look because you want to be healthier or you need a change, but it is unhealthy to want to change, so someone else sees you as beautiful. You are gorgeous no matter what anyone else says and guess what I think you are beautiful because you are.
When I started social media I knew people would have mean things to say I knew people wouldn't like what I was doing, but the amount of DM’s I get saying how beautiful I am, but you should lose some weight was overwhelming. I was hurt and second guessing my self and my self-worth, but what does that tell the person asking me to change? What would that show all of you guys? That you too should change to fit someone else's ideal, no because that is ridiculous. You are in control of your own body not the rest of the world if you like the way you look to stay that way because you have to live with yourself and you have to look and line in your body every day.
I wish someone would have taught me the difference between changing for you and changing for someone else a really long time ago. I have struggled with eating disorders since middle school because I thought that changing the way I look to be someone else's ideal would make me happy and feel wanted, but it didn’t. Why? Because I wasn't changing for myself. When someone tells you-you are beautiful, and you are dressed in this costume of someone else it doesn’t feel as good when someone gives you that same compliment, but when you are being you, it feels so good. If you are like me and have struggled with body image and self-image, you are enough you always have been.
I started changing the way I look at myself by first wearing the clothes I wanted to wear not the clothes that were trendy, or I got the most compliments in I started dressing for me, and it was terrifying at first, but slowly my confidence grew. The next thing I did was I would write myself a compliment every morning. No matter if I was going to be late or if I wasn’t even going to leave the house that day. I found one this I liked about myself that morning and then every time I felt insecure or had self-doubt, I would remind my self of that. I started taking Pictures of myself and picking one this I liked and then I started complimenting other people and slowly I found my self worth and you can find you too because you are worth it.
If you are struggling like I was let someone know, let a close friend know or let me know. Someone will always be there for you someone will always see your worthiness and hopefully, you will too soon. If your struggling with an eating disorder ask for help, it’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to want to change it’s okay to be you no matter what. Start finding your self worth now, not tomorrow not next week now because you are worth the time and energy. If someone you know is also struggling help them show them that you think they are worth it because we all are and keep smiling.